It's about a week since I've taken over leadership of the SNA worship team with Brian. I also played my first gig tonight at SNA...I played for two songs that I knew, then dropped back onto playing the djembe. Graham, the leader of SNA, said it was (spiritually speaking) the best SNA worship time in a long while, which is saying something because there has been a spirit of...I don't know how to put it other than slothfulness or depression in the worship, and last night was radically different. It reflects the new policy Brian and I have implemented where we are going to focus on playing upbeat, faster songs that will keep people's heads up. So far, it seems to be working. Brian's exhortations of prayer and thanks to the Lord were also spot on.
This coming Friday, our worship team will establish 20 songs that we will practice and get to know so that we are all on the same page in our worship. We already have three that we have voted in, so that helps narrow things down a bit.
I have to thank the Lord for being such a blessing, that I have been given the talent that I have and that I am growing daily in my ability to play. This past week was, overall, a pretty ugly week. My bike was stolen, I haven't been performing up to par in my Chinese class, and I have been overwhelmed by feelings of loneliness. Last night, it all of the darkness swallowing me up withered before God's glory.
As one of the songs our team played last night says: "How can I keep from singing?"
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David,
It sounds like you were absolutely right on..you are exactly where you are supposed to be. When there is an obvious change in the atmosphere for the better..you know you are part of the solution. Awesome!
About lonliness...it sucks, I know but understand this..even in marriage one can be lonely. I know that sounds crazy but when you're heart and your partner's heart are not remotely in the same place it's very lonely. People don't expect that in marriage so it's kinda more of a let down. I remember times of severe lonliness when I was single though. Even in a room full of people who loved me I felt alone. I will be praying for you in this.
Hey David,
I know what you mean about the lonliness bit. I've been dealing with it myself. I will definitly be keeping you in my prayers.
Congrats on playing on Saturday... i'm pissed I missed it, but family comes first.
Well, I might see you tonight!!
TTYL!!!
~Lissie
Glad to hear SNL went so well! Sorry about the loneliness, I agree with Joanne, I was lonely the entire time I was married, I turned to books for companionship, not that reading is a bad thing, but when it becomes an escape it's as negative as drugs and alcohol. Keep in line with God, know I'm going through the lonely/single thing with you (although with fewer prospects than you have!) and I'm praying for you, as always.
Hugs & Love
Don't be so sure about the fewer prospects thing. The shotgun effect (checking out as many potential people as possible) doesn't work when you're looking for a God given partner, remember?
I dunno. I trying hard not to have expectations. I'm also trying hard not to be a bitter person about the whole thing, and to have a sense of perspective that I'm only 19, for goodness sakes.
Geesh, 19 and worried about being alone already? I'm 33, have 3 children, and will create an "instant family" situation if I find a man who isn't afraid of that... it really limits the amount of prospects out there by a lot since I'm not going to look for any who aren't Christian either. And sadly, most Christian men I know are less forgiving about single motherhood than non-Christian men... even if it's for a valid reason!
Hugs & Love
Hey, I DID say I was trying to have a sense of perspective. You ever try doing that when you're 19? Not easy.
David,
Why did you think taking Chinese was a good move again? Were you on crack?
I'm sorry your bike got stolen. Can I sue someone for you to make that better?
Loneliness - welcome to life! It will have moments of intense loneliness and moments when you will be far away from someone you love but yet so in love that you never feel alone. Then you'll have plateau moments when you're just content.
Had a lot of perspective at 19... of course, at 19 I had already met the man I was going to marry and divorce, but that's a different issue.
Yes, loneliness happens to us all, married, single, young, old and everything in between... but if we have Jesus, we're never alone!
Hugs & Love
As much work as Chinese demands of me, I enjoy it. Probably for the same reasons guys pay thousands of dollars to visit a dominatrix... Seriously, I do enjoy Chinese, and am actually tempted to Major in it.
Also, if I was going to try a drug, I'd jump in with both feet and do LSD or PCP. Something that sends me on a magical mystery tour and causes permanent brain damage.
"With Jesus, we're never alone!"
That is true, you are right. The problem is, I am not always "tapped in" to the fact that I am never alone. It's not like Jesus is standing here and talking to me. I am connected to Christ through the holy spirit.
Seeing as how the reliability of that connection is based on me (since the Holy Spirit/Christ is infallible), it is a spotty connection. Whereas being in a relationship with a physical human being has fewer gaps in being able to communicate. Or, at the very least, isn't reliant on Faith to facilitate.
Of course, like every other idealistic theory I have about relationships, I'm probably wrong. My idea falls apart using my example above; in the case of a "physical world" relationship, the communication relies on humans on BOTH ends, so both ends are faulty, instead of just one.
One nice thing is that I always know more or less what God is thinking; it's the "right thing", if that makes any sense. God also comes with a handy dandy instruction manual called the Bible. Women come with no such manual (well, one that's infallible, anyway).
Relationship with God: Reliable communication with the only possible flaw being me, and comes with a manual that is always correct.
Relationship with Women: Communication based on the correlation of both parties' desire to communicate...no manual to troubleshoot with.
Makes me wonder why exactly I feel lonely in the first place when what God is offering is better.
Yeah, I know, but remember what God offers, although much better, is only part of the story. He created humans to need human companionship. The desire and need for a woman in your life is of God, and there is nothing wrong with it!
Hugs & Love
That is true.
It's one of those things where yeah, I should trust that the Lord won't let me down, but at the same time, I should let it go and focus on appreciating the relationship with God at the moment, since that is all that I have.
In other words, stop worrying about it. Worrying isn't good.
Worrying isn't good but it would be a good time to start sending God specific requests concerning whomever you should be with in your future. If you would love to have someone who loves to worship..ask for that. I've known many people who started praying for their potential mates long before they met them. Not just to ask for Godly characteristics but to pray for the well being of that person...like that they would be able to handle stress and trials with much faith, etc... It could give you a productive focus while your waiting and it's something else to share with the Lord while you're focusing on your relationship with Him.
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