I have a habit of watching something online called "The Strong Bad Emails". Today, the Lord did the impossible by tying in the random/hilarious content of one episode into my life...observe the following (there is a point to this note, I swear!):
At first, that kind of an attitude in spite of such a debilitating handicap as having only one limb seems like a great one to have; one of independence and freedom, of pursuing dreams ("I'm gonna be a quarterback someday! I'm gonna throw for 2,000 yards!"). In many ways, it is the American attitude I was born into and have grown up with. It is my father's attitude which he raised me with, one in which I should not be an unnecessary burden on others, sucking the life out of them.
The problem is, as noble as it sounds, it's wrong. Utterly, irrevocably wrong. Why is that? Because it stiff-arms EVERYONE, including God. You can't help me. I need to make it on my own. I'm not going to ask God to help me; I shouldn't have to be bugging God about every damn thing. I should be able to make it on my own. Millions of other people do it all the time. If all the other people in my class can get through it on their own strength, so can I. Why is it I should be weak?
If other people are the standard, no wonder my existence has been in such a sad state with my academic life! How can other, broken people with no salvation be my standard for how I "make it" in life? That is a fatal flaw in my belief that has been revealed to me by the Lord. The point of me coming to Christ is out of admission that I cannot "make it on my own" no matter how strong I try to be, no matter how much of a "heart of a champion" I have. The reason why people are in such sad shape is that they try to make it on their own all of the time and are trying to do it with only one limb, figuratively speaking. It makes them miserable.
This ties into an even greater issue: My God is an intimate, loving God. Closer than any lover, more knowledgeable about me than any friend, more passionate for my success than my own flesh and blood relatives. I put my faith in Jesus Christ, not another, because I recognize the value of His perfect love and have a deep aching need for that perfect love. Recently, I felt that it was not there. I wanted to draw close to the Lord, but I could not, and did not, and I felt distant, like God was in another universe and I had no idea how to leap that gap. Why was that? Because I did not even come to Him to help me "make it" in life.
If I cannot come to the Lord as someone asking for a few bucks, or as someone asking for help in a homework assignment, how can I come to him as someone who wants deep, deep love? Who has deep, loving relationships with a person but can't ask them to spot them 5 bucks at the Burger King?
It all comes back to this thing of not wanting to be a burden. But the truth that my sinful nature obscures is that Christ has already bourne the greatest burdens of mine; he has carried the multitudes of my sin himself. My sins have caused his side to be pierced; and it is my sins that have driven the nails into his hands. If I had not created these burdens for him to bear, he would not have had to die for them. So what, then, are these infinitesimal things that I worry will become some kind of noisome burden to the Almighty God who levels nations, shapes the universe in his hands, and plays with time the way Justin Weber plays with a yo-yo?
If I cannot come to God with "small" things, then I cannot come to God for things like "love". Love is related to trust. I have to trust that God will provide.
And I have to trust that the Lord loves me so much that he wants all of my requests, big and small.
Lucky for us, he loves us very, very much.
Peace in Christ,
-David
3 comments:
Believe it or not, I sent you the unity email before I got this today! God has a sense of timing that is perfect doesn't He?
Glad to read this from you... and you know why.
Hugs & Love
I just read the unity email. I feel it touched on the subject, but didn't directly hit the nail on the head. I'm glad God worked through me to teach me this. Because really, I need to hear it from myself/God. Hearing it from you only does me so good. I have to come to believe it.
I have a friend who years ago had something happen to her that goes with this post. She worked at Christiana Mall and after every shift would go into Macy's to smell the Obsession perfume (this was years ago) because she loved it and knew she couldn't afford it.
One day after church a lady she barely knew came up to her and asked her to meet her at her car. When my friend went the lady pulled out a Macy's bag and said "God told me to tell you that He sees the desires of your heart and no matter how small they seem, they matter to Him." There was, of course, a bottle of Obsession in that bag.
Also..about 10 years ago my husband and I went to a seminar in PA called Ancient Paths. I had been prompted by the Holy Spirit while packing for the seminar to bring a silver ring I had but hadn't worn in a while. It was a mold of Jesus on the cross that wrapped around your finger.
In our small group was a single mom who was really hurting. The last day of the seminar she was leaving early and God had shown me that I was to give her the ring. I knew I would not be able to talk to her before she left so I scribbled a note about how God had shown me that He was her husband until He gave her one (she'd not been married before) and that He would be a Father to her son like no other. I rolled the note like a scroll and fit it into the ring. Her pastor came to me later and told me that He'd been encouraging her to go get a ring to symbolize just that..and confirmed everything I had told her. I think God works wonders in those small things because we see Him as the God who created the universe and we need to experience that personal level of relationship. I trust God for good parking spots at times...how ever trivial that seems to some people. I agree..if we can't extend our faith for the little stuff how much do we really have for the big stuff?
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