One time as I was randomly using gmail- yay gmail!- A link to "Expelled- No Intelligence Allowed" popped up in one of the text based adds on the right that is context sensitive to what words you are typing. It's the coolest advertising thing I have seen thus far (coordinating adds with key words being typed), but that's all besides the point. On with the trailer!
Super Trailer
So...I'm really excited, as a Christian, a follower of Christ and a possible future scientist to see this movie. I hope that it won't be an overly limited release.
I also think it is funny that there is a "Ben Stein for president 2008" thing on the bottom, but to me that has nothing to do with the movie.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Sweat The Small Stuff
So here I am again, bent out of shape over the most stupid things. It really is quite ridiculous, how I give the enemy a foothold in the most infinitesimal, dumb things. Forgetting tax letters at home. The Patriots winning. Botched chords. Not hitting a note. Having to spontaneously do weird strum patterns on stage that were not at all done during practice. Spilled drinks. Stupid people. The way people drive. My binder of worship music magically disappearing into thin air. The devil seems to get a rise out of me every time. The Pointless Rage Parade is back in town, and I'm the first chump in line waving a baton (or maybe smashing it on the ground in frustration because I can't twirl it the way I would like :D).
I can't imagine what it must be like to be God having to deal with me all of the time. I might have the appearance of a mature or thoughtful person on the outside, and to a degree it is true. The problem is a lot of times the thoughts that breed in my head like so many wicked rabbits are ones of irritation and anger, not thoughts that are beneficial. I am so easily duped into getting angry at the most stupid of things. It really is quite pathetic, and I am having a lower and lower tolerance for this mental behavior in myself. I am sick and tired about being angry over dumb stuff, and angry over things that are not in my control. The Bible says do not worry- I don't worry. I just get mad. The only thing that I hate just as much or more than somebody being worried all of the time (get a grip!) is somebody being angry all the time (get a sense of perspective!). Both are a common experience with my family, and it really rubs off on me sometimes. Some would call what I'm doing self-deprecation. Well, there's some things about me that should be "deprecated." Starting with my ridiculously irritable mind. This anger is satanic, and when I deprecate it I'm deprecating satan and his foothold in my heart in the name of Jesus Christ. I indulge his urgings and respond to his prodding far too often.
I need to find a way to crush this under my heel once and for all, because as a follower of Christ this petty anger is beneath me. Some things I have had a permanent victory over in the name of Christ Jesus. Unrighteous anger is the next thing to go, I am really sick of it wasting my time and energy both acting it out and being impotently angry at it.
The problem is that some things that I am angry about are legitimate. Sometimes, anger is a legitimate feeling. God gets angry all of the time. The problem is that I don't know what to do with that anger. I get angry at injustice, and 10 times out of 10 the injustice is completely out of my hands. I get angry at lies, at disrespect, at many truly wrong things, but they are out of my hands. What am I supposed to do with this righteous anger? Ultimately, all it turns into is frustration because unlike God I do not have the capacity for infinite patience or grace, nor do I have the power to call down the thunder on people (metaphorically speaking, though sometimes I wish for that power, too). This frustration quickly degrades into impotent rage. Again, this is all "upstairs"- it is not a public anger that is ever acted upon.
However, there is power in the mind, and the mind matters greatly to the Lord. If that were not so, then lust in the heart would not be the same as adultery, and we could engage in all of the disgusting fantasies we wished without consequence to our souls. If bloody thoughts and hateful catechisms were not tantamount to murder, then no desire born out of seething rage would be too extreme. But these things are equal in God's sight, and are no different than the physical acts, except perhaps in the consequences.
What good is controlling my physical self in this world when I still defeat myself and allow the enemy to control me within? Change must occur from the inside out. James writes that the tongue, like the rudder of a ship steers the body; but the mind steers the tongue. The eyes are the window to the soul, and behind these panes a fire rages unchecked spreading from room to room, its tongues of flame licking greedily at everything God has built up in me. Unchecked, it will leave me a burnt out husk, a hollow man. Satan loves hollow people; there's plenty of room for him to move in when God's presence isn't there. The world is full of hollow people who have allowed themselves to be burned out from the inside, and have let all kinds of things haunt the ruins of their souls. I know a few of them.
It must be stopped, and God is the only one who can stop it. He is the only one with the living waters to quench the fire.
"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death!? Thanks be to God- through Christ Jesus our Lord!" Romans 7:24-25
I can't imagine what it must be like to be God having to deal with me all of the time. I might have the appearance of a mature or thoughtful person on the outside, and to a degree it is true. The problem is a lot of times the thoughts that breed in my head like so many wicked rabbits are ones of irritation and anger, not thoughts that are beneficial. I am so easily duped into getting angry at the most stupid of things. It really is quite pathetic, and I am having a lower and lower tolerance for this mental behavior in myself. I am sick and tired about being angry over dumb stuff, and angry over things that are not in my control. The Bible says do not worry- I don't worry. I just get mad. The only thing that I hate just as much or more than somebody being worried all of the time (get a grip!) is somebody being angry all the time (get a sense of perspective!). Both are a common experience with my family, and it really rubs off on me sometimes. Some would call what I'm doing self-deprecation. Well, there's some things about me that should be "deprecated." Starting with my ridiculously irritable mind. This anger is satanic, and when I deprecate it I'm deprecating satan and his foothold in my heart in the name of Jesus Christ. I indulge his urgings and respond to his prodding far too often.
I need to find a way to crush this under my heel once and for all, because as a follower of Christ this petty anger is beneath me. Some things I have had a permanent victory over in the name of Christ Jesus. Unrighteous anger is the next thing to go, I am really sick of it wasting my time and energy both acting it out and being impotently angry at it.
The problem is that some things that I am angry about are legitimate. Sometimes, anger is a legitimate feeling. God gets angry all of the time. The problem is that I don't know what to do with that anger. I get angry at injustice, and 10 times out of 10 the injustice is completely out of my hands. I get angry at lies, at disrespect, at many truly wrong things, but they are out of my hands. What am I supposed to do with this righteous anger? Ultimately, all it turns into is frustration because unlike God I do not have the capacity for infinite patience or grace, nor do I have the power to call down the thunder on people (metaphorically speaking, though sometimes I wish for that power, too). This frustration quickly degrades into impotent rage. Again, this is all "upstairs"- it is not a public anger that is ever acted upon.
However, there is power in the mind, and the mind matters greatly to the Lord. If that were not so, then lust in the heart would not be the same as adultery, and we could engage in all of the disgusting fantasies we wished without consequence to our souls. If bloody thoughts and hateful catechisms were not tantamount to murder, then no desire born out of seething rage would be too extreme. But these things are equal in God's sight, and are no different than the physical acts, except perhaps in the consequences.
What good is controlling my physical self in this world when I still defeat myself and allow the enemy to control me within? Change must occur from the inside out. James writes that the tongue, like the rudder of a ship steers the body; but the mind steers the tongue. The eyes are the window to the soul, and behind these panes a fire rages unchecked spreading from room to room, its tongues of flame licking greedily at everything God has built up in me. Unchecked, it will leave me a burnt out husk, a hollow man. Satan loves hollow people; there's plenty of room for him to move in when God's presence isn't there. The world is full of hollow people who have allowed themselves to be burned out from the inside, and have let all kinds of things haunt the ruins of their souls. I know a few of them.
It must be stopped, and God is the only one who can stop it. He is the only one with the living waters to quench the fire.
"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death!? Thanks be to God- through Christ Jesus our Lord!" Romans 7:24-25
Monday, December 31, 2007
A Glance at the True Self
Here's a strange question: Have you ever looked in the mirror and been able to see yourself objectively, as other people see you? I mean, there's the mug you're used to looking at every morning and when you're dressing up for an event, but have you ever had a split second moment where the you standing in front of the mirror isn't you and you're able to see the reflection in the mirror as a separate person? It's happened to me a couple of times. I have also spent some time staring at myself in the mirror (not recently, but when I was younger). If I let my pathetic excuse for facial hair grow out and then shave it a while later, I don't entirely recognize myself in the mirror (which is a really creepy feeling actually). I imagine that if I shaved my head and looked in the mirror I might not recognize myself there, either (and probably not for weeks).
Sometimes, you can get a glimpse of that in the spiritual sense, too. A friend of mine recently posted a quote from a book he finished called "Freedom of Simplicity" by Richard Foster on his blog. When I read it, it was like seeing myself objectively in the mirror again. Commentary in brackets is mine.
"This stage is one of great honesty and sincerity, but it is not yet true simplicity. 'Sincerity is a virtue below simplicity,' said Fenelon. The reason is easy to see. The sincere have a deep concern for honesty and truth. Rectitude, fidelity, conscientiousness, impeccability - these all mark the sincere. And although all of these are great virtues, they have a certain self-consciousness about them: a concern to do right, TO BE RIGHT [emphasis mine], to look right. Of the sincere, Fenelon says, 'They are always studying themselves, going over all their words and all their thoughts, and going back over all they have done, afraid of having said or done too much.' [so very true of me...especially now that I've written what is it, 4 massive notes now?]
The sincere are not yet simple. They have a kind of artificial rigor that makes us feel uncomfortable, though we cannot fault the virtue. They put us on edge and make us feel ill at ease. [This is something that I am totally blind to and need people to tell me about] This often concerns us because they seem so spiritual, so determined to know God. [I am :) ] We wonder if our discomfort stems from a resistance to God and his way. In reality, however, it is due to the fact that these deeply committed folk are trying too hard. [I'll get to that in a minute] They lack the ease, freedom, and naturalness that mark true interior simplicity. We would prefer less perfect people who are more at ease with themselves."
It seems to me that Foster has summed up my condition, and how I probably affect people better than I ever could.
I have one quibble with this guy's assessment (and it isn't directly of me, so I don't take it personally or anything like that). He says that I am trying too hard. I wish that I had this book so that I could look at this passage in context. Nevertheless, I am going to make lemonade out of lemons and try to address this. Here is my question: What does he mean by "trying too hard"? I could say that Paul, who went through quite a bit in his walk, "tried too hard". If that is what the author means, than there is something seriously wrong with that statement. Due to the context of the "trying too hard" thing in the passage, I am inclined to believe that he is saying that we can "try too hard" to want to know God. My tendency is to reject that notion. My whole life is devoted to "knowing" God. But even now semantics rears its ugly head. Does he mean "know" as in knowledge, or "know" the way the Bible says that "Adam knew Eve"? The former is impossible. We can never "know", in the scientific sense or understanding sense, God. However, in the sense of intimacy and love, we can know God, the way I know some of you who are my close friends. I can know what he wants and expects from me, what he thinks of me, what he desires. I know from scripture the desires of the Lord's heart, and they are all beautiful.
As I have said before, I will not apologize for loving or wanting to love, but my methods could always use improvement. And my attitude. The description above seems to have this overall sense of impatience. I think that this also is a great struggle of mine, and one that the Lord is trying to correct in me. Three times now a Psalm has been affirmed to me that God wants me to understand and follow. The first was in the previous note; the second was at a worship meeting at my friend Brian's house; the third time it came not through me but from my dear pastor Bo Matthews at Brandywine Valley Baptist Church this past Sunday. He told us a bit about his life story and confessed to having desires as a boy that are close to my heart now. In his teaching he covered Psalm 31 and linked that to how the Lord has guided his life with a very specific purpose and has also given him the desires of the heart he had as a young man. And he offered Psalm 31:24 as a comfort at the end. Well, that was it. I know what I am supposed to do now.
Looking at the Psalms, I realize that the Psalm the Lord lead me to and the one Bo quoted were actually two different ones, but with almost the same ending:
"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and take heart, and wait for the Lord"
Psalm 27:14 (What the Lord led me to)
"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord"
Psalm 31:24 (What Bo used in his teaching)
Peace in Christ,
-David
Sometimes, you can get a glimpse of that in the spiritual sense, too. A friend of mine recently posted a quote from a book he finished called "Freedom of Simplicity" by Richard Foster on his blog. When I read it, it was like seeing myself objectively in the mirror again. Commentary in brackets is mine.
"This stage is one of great honesty and sincerity, but it is not yet true simplicity. 'Sincerity is a virtue below simplicity,' said Fenelon. The reason is easy to see. The sincere have a deep concern for honesty and truth. Rectitude, fidelity, conscientiousness, impeccability - these all mark the sincere. And although all of these are great virtues, they have a certain self-consciousness about them: a concern to do right, TO BE RIGHT [emphasis mine], to look right. Of the sincere, Fenelon says, 'They are always studying themselves, going over all their words and all their thoughts, and going back over all they have done, afraid of having said or done too much.' [so very true of me...especially now that I've written what is it, 4 massive notes now?]
The sincere are not yet simple. They have a kind of artificial rigor that makes us feel uncomfortable, though we cannot fault the virtue. They put us on edge and make us feel ill at ease. [This is something that I am totally blind to and need people to tell me about] This often concerns us because they seem so spiritual, so determined to know God. [I am :) ] We wonder if our discomfort stems from a resistance to God and his way. In reality, however, it is due to the fact that these deeply committed folk are trying too hard. [I'll get to that in a minute] They lack the ease, freedom, and naturalness that mark true interior simplicity. We would prefer less perfect people who are more at ease with themselves."
It seems to me that Foster has summed up my condition, and how I probably affect people better than I ever could.
I have one quibble with this guy's assessment (and it isn't directly of me, so I don't take it personally or anything like that). He says that I am trying too hard. I wish that I had this book so that I could look at this passage in context. Nevertheless, I am going to make lemonade out of lemons and try to address this. Here is my question: What does he mean by "trying too hard"? I could say that Paul, who went through quite a bit in his walk, "tried too hard". If that is what the author means, than there is something seriously wrong with that statement. Due to the context of the "trying too hard" thing in the passage, I am inclined to believe that he is saying that we can "try too hard" to want to know God. My tendency is to reject that notion. My whole life is devoted to "knowing" God. But even now semantics rears its ugly head. Does he mean "know" as in knowledge, or "know" the way the Bible says that "Adam knew Eve"? The former is impossible. We can never "know", in the scientific sense or understanding sense, God. However, in the sense of intimacy and love, we can know God, the way I know some of you who are my close friends. I can know what he wants and expects from me, what he thinks of me, what he desires. I know from scripture the desires of the Lord's heart, and they are all beautiful.
As I have said before, I will not apologize for loving or wanting to love, but my methods could always use improvement. And my attitude. The description above seems to have this overall sense of impatience. I think that this also is a great struggle of mine, and one that the Lord is trying to correct in me. Three times now a Psalm has been affirmed to me that God wants me to understand and follow. The first was in the previous note; the second was at a worship meeting at my friend Brian's house; the third time it came not through me but from my dear pastor Bo Matthews at Brandywine Valley Baptist Church this past Sunday. He told us a bit about his life story and confessed to having desires as a boy that are close to my heart now. In his teaching he covered Psalm 31 and linked that to how the Lord has guided his life with a very specific purpose and has also given him the desires of the heart he had as a young man. And he offered Psalm 31:24 as a comfort at the end. Well, that was it. I know what I am supposed to do now.
Looking at the Psalms, I realize that the Psalm the Lord lead me to and the one Bo quoted were actually two different ones, but with almost the same ending:
"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and take heart, and wait for the Lord"
Psalm 27:14 (What the Lord led me to)
"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord"
Psalm 31:24 (What Bo used in his teaching)
Peace in Christ,
-David
You Can Lead a Horse to Water...
Having no current work has given me a lot of time to think, which often translates into these mile-long notes- and the next thing I have thought of after talking about all of this stuff regarding family is how I react to my Christian family that I have been placed in.
I find myself trying incredibly hard to get these Christian people to like me. For the first time, I have found people who I actually CARE what they think about me and try to constantly justify myself to them. I love my new family that God has placed me in, but I feel like there's a lot of catching up to do. I want people to know me. I want people to understand me. I want people to want to love me, not just because "God says so" but because I am actually a lovable person. Maybe I want to avoid grace as much as possible. That could be. But I also feel like being in this Christian family is like being a kid in a candy store for someone like me who wants to have deep and honest relationships. And so I spend a lot of energy try to explain myself and put myself out there through notes like this and so on. The problem is that I do things like this, I tell people that they are my friend and can come to me for anything, and nobody comes to me. Sometimes I am even told that I am so by another, and yet when something is wrong I am entrusted to nothing. This used to be a complaint, but now for me it's more a statement of fact than anything else, I've come to accept it.
So I've been going for a while now wondering why that is. I suspect there are reasons on the part of the recipient and also the sender (me).
The body of Christ is a family. Yet, there are a lot of people who do not treat it as such. I think one of the biggest problems here is that I think there are many people who do not see the body of Christ as a family. Perhaps they are afraid to become close to people because their first family was destroyed, or they were hurt by someone else they were in close fellowship to. Perhaps they are not saved and do not really know what it means to be bound to one another in the spirit, united by a love of God, each other and His purpose. Perhaps they already have friends and family and do not want for anything, and so they do not see addressing the church as a family as something that is necessary. They can afford to stand apart.
These people are no less of a problem than I am- because I have my own flaws. I am a person who loves zealously. That works GREAT for loving God- you can never love Him enough and he'll always accept your love- but people are a little different. I am a person who came into this fellowship here and got exactly what I wanted (hence the kid in a candy store example above). The thing is, some people need time to get close. Some people do not jump into the pool all at once (I do). I don't understand those people :D, but I have to accept the fact that that is how they react to this whole family thing. So, I think, when someone like me comes along writing mini-novels and tagging people with reckless abandon, I suspect that there are probably a few people who are turned off by that kind of behavior. Perhaps a couple of those people have been tagged in this note.
I can't change how people react. I can't change other people. I can pray for them- but I can't change them. So there is not much I can do about people who do not receive love or honesty well. I could probably write exhaustively (in the sense that it would probably exhaust the reader) about how they could fix that issue, but I feel right now that is not something that is my place to give a thorough treatment on. I will say that perhaps those people need to honestly look at themselves, see the fear and find a way to vanquish it...and we know from scripture that perfect love drives out fear. There is only one source of perfect love, and that is God. Therefore, when we are afraid, me must go to God and ask him to drive away our fears. That is a very convenient thing for somebody from my point of view to say, given that I'm usually the guy wanting his love to be accepted, but I will also say that I also have to accept that I may not necessarily be the person that the recipient needs to be close to.
What I can change is how I express my love to people. In a word, I need discernment. Instead of just...blasting people with love, I need to gauge whether or not a person can handle the amount of openness I'm going to give them. I also need to be patient, and not force the issue by giving them something they are not ready to handle. And, perhaps the most challenging thing for me, accept that there are some who will not love me to the degree that I love them. Ouch. Just saying that to me is like hugging a cactus or playing catch with a sea urchin. In many ways, this is like dealing with people who are not saved. Open engagement and debate, calling people out- a lot of times that shuts people down, causes them to lock up.
You can lead a horse to water...but you can't make it drink. That is something that I need to grasp and accept. Sometimes, it's a very difficult thing to do, because you love someone so much, but have to sit there and let them not allow themselves to be loved. A while ago, people tried to love me and I rejected them. I suspect that this caused them to wish that I would allow them to love me and help but I would not. How many people do you know that you wish with all of your being that they would accept Christ into their lives, but all you can do is wait? You can lead a horse to water...but you can't make it drink.
I will not apologize for wanting to be loved and to be known, but I will apologize if I have ever written things that, instead of helping you open up to being loved by your new family have caused you to shrink back instead. I apologize if I have ever made you wonder if you HAVE to share private things because I wish that you would reciprocate, or if I told you things you would rather not have known (the infamous "overshare"). I apologize if I have ever made myself seem uncaring about other people's needs and boundaries by throwing them things in their lap they did not want (i.e. giving you trust that you weren't ready for). I apologize if I have tried so hard to justify myself to you that I whipped the quills out like a porcupine even before you asked any questions. I do that not because I want to fight, but because I value your opinion so much that I do not want you to think I haven't thought things through or that am foolish (which I am anyway). If you are someone to whom these apologies were necessary and do not want me tagging you in notes anymore, please send me a private message saying so. The David Hynes Fan Club is a volunteer only organization, and I intend to keep it that way ;D .
To everyone else...thanks for accepting me in all of my desperate times of madness, and dealing with me in grace and love. Thank you for calling me out, and not putting up with my BS. Perhaps most of all, thank you for accepting my offerings of love. I will try not to make you regret it.
Peace in Christ,
-David
I find myself trying incredibly hard to get these Christian people to like me. For the first time, I have found people who I actually CARE what they think about me and try to constantly justify myself to them. I love my new family that God has placed me in, but I feel like there's a lot of catching up to do. I want people to know me. I want people to understand me. I want people to want to love me, not just because "God says so" but because I am actually a lovable person. Maybe I want to avoid grace as much as possible. That could be. But I also feel like being in this Christian family is like being a kid in a candy store for someone like me who wants to have deep and honest relationships. And so I spend a lot of energy try to explain myself and put myself out there through notes like this and so on. The problem is that I do things like this, I tell people that they are my friend and can come to me for anything, and nobody comes to me. Sometimes I am even told that I am so by another, and yet when something is wrong I am entrusted to nothing. This used to be a complaint, but now for me it's more a statement of fact than anything else, I've come to accept it.
So I've been going for a while now wondering why that is. I suspect there are reasons on the part of the recipient and also the sender (me).
The body of Christ is a family. Yet, there are a lot of people who do not treat it as such. I think one of the biggest problems here is that I think there are many people who do not see the body of Christ as a family. Perhaps they are afraid to become close to people because their first family was destroyed, or they were hurt by someone else they were in close fellowship to. Perhaps they are not saved and do not really know what it means to be bound to one another in the spirit, united by a love of God, each other and His purpose. Perhaps they already have friends and family and do not want for anything, and so they do not see addressing the church as a family as something that is necessary. They can afford to stand apart.
These people are no less of a problem than I am- because I have my own flaws. I am a person who loves zealously. That works GREAT for loving God- you can never love Him enough and he'll always accept your love- but people are a little different. I am a person who came into this fellowship here and got exactly what I wanted (hence the kid in a candy store example above). The thing is, some people need time to get close. Some people do not jump into the pool all at once (I do). I don't understand those people :D, but I have to accept the fact that that is how they react to this whole family thing. So, I think, when someone like me comes along writing mini-novels and tagging people with reckless abandon, I suspect that there are probably a few people who are turned off by that kind of behavior. Perhaps a couple of those people have been tagged in this note.
I can't change how people react. I can't change other people. I can pray for them- but I can't change them. So there is not much I can do about people who do not receive love or honesty well. I could probably write exhaustively (in the sense that it would probably exhaust the reader) about how they could fix that issue, but I feel right now that is not something that is my place to give a thorough treatment on. I will say that perhaps those people need to honestly look at themselves, see the fear and find a way to vanquish it...and we know from scripture that perfect love drives out fear. There is only one source of perfect love, and that is God. Therefore, when we are afraid, me must go to God and ask him to drive away our fears. That is a very convenient thing for somebody from my point of view to say, given that I'm usually the guy wanting his love to be accepted, but I will also say that I also have to accept that I may not necessarily be the person that the recipient needs to be close to.
What I can change is how I express my love to people. In a word, I need discernment. Instead of just...blasting people with love, I need to gauge whether or not a person can handle the amount of openness I'm going to give them. I also need to be patient, and not force the issue by giving them something they are not ready to handle. And, perhaps the most challenging thing for me, accept that there are some who will not love me to the degree that I love them. Ouch. Just saying that to me is like hugging a cactus or playing catch with a sea urchin. In many ways, this is like dealing with people who are not saved. Open engagement and debate, calling people out- a lot of times that shuts people down, causes them to lock up.
You can lead a horse to water...but you can't make it drink. That is something that I need to grasp and accept. Sometimes, it's a very difficult thing to do, because you love someone so much, but have to sit there and let them not allow themselves to be loved. A while ago, people tried to love me and I rejected them. I suspect that this caused them to wish that I would allow them to love me and help but I would not. How many people do you know that you wish with all of your being that they would accept Christ into their lives, but all you can do is wait? You can lead a horse to water...but you can't make it drink.
I will not apologize for wanting to be loved and to be known, but I will apologize if I have ever written things that, instead of helping you open up to being loved by your new family have caused you to shrink back instead. I apologize if I have ever made you wonder if you HAVE to share private things because I wish that you would reciprocate, or if I told you things you would rather not have known (the infamous "overshare"). I apologize if I have ever made myself seem uncaring about other people's needs and boundaries by throwing them things in their lap they did not want (i.e. giving you trust that you weren't ready for). I apologize if I have tried so hard to justify myself to you that I whipped the quills out like a porcupine even before you asked any questions. I do that not because I want to fight, but because I value your opinion so much that I do not want you to think I haven't thought things through or that am foolish (which I am anyway). If you are someone to whom these apologies were necessary and do not want me tagging you in notes anymore, please send me a private message saying so. The David Hynes Fan Club is a volunteer only organization, and I intend to keep it that way ;D .
To everyone else...thanks for accepting me in all of my desperate times of madness, and dealing with me in grace and love. Thank you for calling me out, and not putting up with my BS. Perhaps most of all, thank you for accepting my offerings of love. I will try not to make you regret it.
Peace in Christ,
-David
Friday, December 28, 2007
Cutting My Bloodlines- The Kingdom and The World
In this two-part series of notes I'm trying to get down to this issue: How do I deal with my family?
So far I have taken an honest look about how I feel about my family of "blood and marriage" and have found out some scary things about what I think and want. I want separation...bad. I also established that in coming here, I have been given a new family, the Kingdom of Heaven, my Brothers and Sisters in Christ. There now lies a tension between my two families: My family of the World and my family of the Kingdom.
I want to sweep aside my emotions and nettlesome thoughts and questions and really look at how GOD wants me to handle this thing. So I'm going to start with Scripture. I am finding out more and more that the Bible is a book of tensions, and that our faith is a balancing act.
The first thing I came across was 1 Timothy 5:3-4. I know the context isn't exactly right, because Paul is talking about taking care of widows, but he says this:
"But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God."
Furthermore, Jesus says in Mark 7:9-13 that "You have a fine way of setting aside the commandments of God in order to observe your own traditions! For Moses said 'Honor your father and mother,' and 'anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' But you say that if a man says to his father or mother: 'Whatever help you might have received from me is Corban' (that is, a gift devoted to God), then you no longer let him do anything for his father or mother. Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down."
So what is being said in this scripture is that you should not abandon your family, but take care of them when they need help. That makes sense, and is something that I have been willing to do, though I am more the one in need than anyone else in the financial sense. However, aside from respecting your parents and family, the Bible seems to say little in the way of your proximity to them or involvement with them. There are also some other counterbalancing factors at work here:
"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn 'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter in law against her mother in law- a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.' " Matthew 10:34-36
Woah. Not your typical Christmas-ey holiday cheer explanation for Christ's birth, huh. But he keeps going-
"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will save it." Matthew 10:37-39
This is an interesting and personal verse for me. I used to love my dad more than God for a very significant amount of time, and it has only been in the last few years of my life that I have learned to love God above all others. But this verse is basically saying to me that you have to put God and his calling first and above everything else. But God will not call you to leave your family- or would he?
"Peter said to him, 'We have left everything to follow you!'
'I tell you the truth,' Jesus replied, 'No one has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and fields- and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.' " Mark 10:28-31
"God sets the lonely in families" Psalm 68:6
I have found that those past two selections are very true. The fellowship I have received because of my faith has blessed me immensely more than even what I had before (which, I am going to be honest, never felt like much at all).
So, I suppose my question then should be, what am I being called to? Am I being called away from my family? My instincts say yes. I have been miraculously brought here to college (ask me to tell you the story some time), which is away from my family (sort of), and the Lord has clearly blessed it. I just checked my grades from this semester from my first helping of serious Geology classes, and I can see that I have been blessed there and also in my Chinese language course. I feel a desire to do missions work in China or Taiwan and while I have not yet received a direct affirmation of this goal, God has been answering my prayers to help me grasp the language, which is a sign to me it means something to him that I can speak the language. Or maybe God is allowing me to have the desires of my heart. I am not sure.
So if I am called away, I should go (and will go happily, because where I have gone in faith I have been blessed and loved). At the same time, I must give my family the respect they deserve and not abandon them when they need help. That seems fair. I think that my sensitivity regarding this issue really is that I want to be independent, I want to be a man who makes his own decisions and I want people to respect that. The next step of my life is that I leave my father and mother to become one flesh with someone else (Gen 2:24). I need to be able to do that, and I feel that escaping the gravity of my family is essential for that purpose. A lot of times I feel like a fly in a spider's web.
I think that the solution to this is that I become more patient. I think this goes back to the thing I have mentioned before: I'm looking ahead too much. Again.
So I think that I will finish this with scripture that seems particularly apt.
"I am still confident in this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
- Psalm 27:13-14
Peace in Christ,
-David
So far I have taken an honest look about how I feel about my family of "blood and marriage" and have found out some scary things about what I think and want. I want separation...bad. I also established that in coming here, I have been given a new family, the Kingdom of Heaven, my Brothers and Sisters in Christ. There now lies a tension between my two families: My family of the World and my family of the Kingdom.
I want to sweep aside my emotions and nettlesome thoughts and questions and really look at how GOD wants me to handle this thing. So I'm going to start with Scripture. I am finding out more and more that the Bible is a book of tensions, and that our faith is a balancing act.
The first thing I came across was 1 Timothy 5:3-4. I know the context isn't exactly right, because Paul is talking about taking care of widows, but he says this:
"But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God."
Furthermore, Jesus says in Mark 7:9-13 that "You have a fine way of setting aside the commandments of God in order to observe your own traditions! For Moses said 'Honor your father and mother,' and 'anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' But you say that if a man says to his father or mother: 'Whatever help you might have received from me is Corban' (that is, a gift devoted to God), then you no longer let him do anything for his father or mother. Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down."
So what is being said in this scripture is that you should not abandon your family, but take care of them when they need help. That makes sense, and is something that I have been willing to do, though I am more the one in need than anyone else in the financial sense. However, aside from respecting your parents and family, the Bible seems to say little in the way of your proximity to them or involvement with them. There are also some other counterbalancing factors at work here:
"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn 'a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter in law against her mother in law- a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.' " Matthew 10:34-36
Woah. Not your typical Christmas-ey holiday cheer explanation for Christ's birth, huh. But he keeps going-
"Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will save it." Matthew 10:37-39
This is an interesting and personal verse for me. I used to love my dad more than God for a very significant amount of time, and it has only been in the last few years of my life that I have learned to love God above all others. But this verse is basically saying to me that you have to put God and his calling first and above everything else. But God will not call you to leave your family- or would he?
"Peter said to him, 'We have left everything to follow you!'
'I tell you the truth,' Jesus replied, 'No one has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and fields- and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last first.' " Mark 10:28-31
"God sets the lonely in families" Psalm 68:6
I have found that those past two selections are very true. The fellowship I have received because of my faith has blessed me immensely more than even what I had before (which, I am going to be honest, never felt like much at all).
So, I suppose my question then should be, what am I being called to? Am I being called away from my family? My instincts say yes. I have been miraculously brought here to college (ask me to tell you the story some time), which is away from my family (sort of), and the Lord has clearly blessed it. I just checked my grades from this semester from my first helping of serious Geology classes, and I can see that I have been blessed there and also in my Chinese language course. I feel a desire to do missions work in China or Taiwan and while I have not yet received a direct affirmation of this goal, God has been answering my prayers to help me grasp the language, which is a sign to me it means something to him that I can speak the language. Or maybe God is allowing me to have the desires of my heart. I am not sure.
So if I am called away, I should go (and will go happily, because where I have gone in faith I have been blessed and loved). At the same time, I must give my family the respect they deserve and not abandon them when they need help. That seems fair. I think that my sensitivity regarding this issue really is that I want to be independent, I want to be a man who makes his own decisions and I want people to respect that. The next step of my life is that I leave my father and mother to become one flesh with someone else (Gen 2:24). I need to be able to do that, and I feel that escaping the gravity of my family is essential for that purpose. A lot of times I feel like a fly in a spider's web.
I think that the solution to this is that I become more patient. I think this goes back to the thing I have mentioned before: I'm looking ahead too much. Again.
So I think that I will finish this with scripture that seems particularly apt.
"I am still confident in this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
- Psalm 27:13-14
Peace in Christ,
-David
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