Trip to the PA Grand Canyon

If you want to see the pictures, go to this link to my Facebook web page:

link

Hope

I have a lot of hope right now. Not just academically, but for my Saturday Night Alive ministry, leading the worship team...I'm not even playing yet, but it is truly a reward to serve in the kingdom. I have a brother in Christ named Bryan to thank for being such a great help in these times, and he is helping me lead the charge...this summer has been very helpful in terms of preparation, and I am looking forward to the days to come. Already, I can tell I'll enjoy 2/3 of my classes, and the other 1/3 is only because of the high number of students (which may not wind up being a problem).

But anyway, I cannot help but feel hopeful. It is good to feel this way. I believe that faith has much to do with this hope; I am trusting in the Lord more now than I have before, and have become closer to Him than I have before. Growing in one's faith is a wonderful feeling.

Blasted Machine!

I can't seem to upload pictures from my computer, either to attach to emails to send people or to upload onto my blog. Color me po'd (decided to censor myself a little there...).

That's your deep, introspective content for today folks, sorry to disappoint :D .

To distract you from my lack of meaningful content, here's a picture of some puppies:



I feel better now. Maybe when I'm angry at my computer, I should just look at pictures of puppies? I'll have to pass this tip on to Dad. Of course, he uses some utopian operating system that never has any problems now, so I guess he doesn't need them since he disengaged from the Borg Mothersh- I mean, stopped using Microsoft's wonderful software.

"Come, join us at Microsoft. We have puppies."

Man, if that was their slogan, they would TOTALLY take over the world.

From The Highest of Heights

Hello all, I'm back again after a fun (but not in the least relaxing) vacation to the deep North of PA today, in the mountains. It's stunningly beautiful, and one thing flatlanders like me have is a sense of perspective on how beautiful the mountains are, even ones so humble as the Appalachian foothills. I may not live in a place like that, but at least I can see it for what it is. I feel sorry for those who live there day to day and forget what a wonderful place thy live in.

It was great to be there, with some of my brothers in Christ (Brady, Graham, Joey) and we had a good time enjoying nature and some of Graham's family.

One thing that really struck me was how God works in people's lives. Graham's grandmother on his mother's side (Grandma Minor, if I recall correctly) came to that mountain town with her husband when God told them to leave NYC, without a destination...they wandered around New York and went into northern PA, and God told them to stop there. They started with a gas station and a bible study in their basement, and now they are the only church in town other than the Catholic one, and have endured years of hardship. The people in the area are suspicious of outsiders, and don't like them moving in. The group of Chirsitans praying in the basement of Grandmother Minor's house were the victims of all sorts of wonderful rumours, from militants bent on taking over the town (the rumor was they had a gun range in the basement...they must have been using silenced rifles :D), cultists from Jim Jones' group of followers, and finally agents from The Man. Eventually, that bible study in the basement became a church, and the local Catholic church would preach that anyone stepping foot in their church would go to hell. The one black family in town goes to their church (the others have long since been run off). The one diner pastor Minor goes to has gone as far to spit in his food...all of these sorts of things have been occurring for decades. But they endured, and their following has grown immensely.

Another thing I have seen is that God's promises of blessing really do come true; the one half of Graham's family that followed the Lord has prospered and multiplied, and the other half that despised him dwindled and has all but died out. "Those who displease me, my wrath will be upon them for 30 generations, but those who honor me will have my blessing for a thousand generations."

I'll see if I can post some pictures some time soon.

Psalm 38

These verses are very apt today.

"O Lord do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath, for your arrows have pierced me, and your hand has come down upon me. Be cause of your wrath, there is no health in my body; my bones have no soundness because of my sin. My guilt has overwhelmed me, like a burden to heavy to bear.

My wounds fester and are loathsome because of my sinful folly. I am bowed down and brought very low; all day long I go about mourning. My back is filled with searing pain; there is no health in my body. I am feeble and utterly crushed.

All my longings lie open before you, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you. My heart pounds, my strength fails me; even the light has gone from my eyes. My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds; my neighbors are far away. Those who seek my life set their traps, those who would harm me talk of my ruin; all day long they plot deception.

I am like a deaf man, who cannot hear, like a mute, who cannot open his mouth; I have become like a man who does not hear, whose mouth can offer no reply. I wait for you, O Lord, and you will answer, O Lord my God. For I said 'Do not let them gloat or exalt themselves over me when my foot slips.'

For I am about to fall, and my pain is ever with me. I confess my iniquity, I am troubled by my sin. Many are those who are my vigorous enemies; those who hate me without reason are numerous. Those who repay my good with evil slander me when I pursue what is good.

O Lord, do not forsake me, be not far from me, O my God. Come quickly to help me, O Lord my savior."

To anyone who feels that the Old Testament is old hat, I would challenge that by saying that psalms like this *jerks thumb at above scripture* shatter whatever illusions of outdatedness or antiquity people may have about it.

If you are even remotely in David's condition, act as David has. Quite few things of what David mentions, except for maybe loathsome festering wounds (and including very unpleasant back pain), have really struck me today. I finally gave it to the Lord in prayer. If you are reading this but aren't "getting it" , pray that your eyes would be opened to see the meaning of this passage, and that it would pierce your heart the way it has struck mine today. If there is intense suffering in your life, there is a reason for it's occurance. That reason has to do with us. But it also has a purpose, and that purpose is to draw us close to the Lord...because 999 times out of a thousand (and probably far more than that), this kind of suffering is what brings us close to the Lord, not our own will. People always refer to God in calamity- "Why me!?" (or in frustration..."God dammit!"....). But what we think of God determines how we address him. We tend to either do so in cursing (as above) or in prayer, if we believe in God's goodness and power.

My Charicature

My picture on the right here isn't just to make people chuckle...it's also to help humble me. That sounds really weird at first, but it's not.

If I had things my way (i.e. I had lots of time to draw stuff) I probably would have made the "I'm a Rock Star In My Head" picture ridiculously over the top. I'd be on an outdoor stage in Hawaii with a volcano erupting in the background (which I timed perfectly using my Geology skillz to coincide with the climax of my show), stacks of speakers as tall as the IV house with MotoX stunt motorcyclists in Evil Kinevil suits flying over the stage, Tigers chained on either side of me (but out of reach) and with a flight of F-16's flying overhead, dropping payloads of $100 bills. And, of course, screaming, smokin' hot groupies everywhere and SWAT teams keeping them off of the stage.

I try to cope with my delusions of grandeur by making fun of them. That's what that picture is; a reminder of how outrageously delusional I get about who I really am. I take a look at my stupid, prideful thoughts that sometimes pop up and pull a straw man on them, exaggerating them to the point of obvious ridiculousness. But often, pride doesn't seem so ridiculous until we magnify it and see it for the monstrosity it truly is. What I am is only a man. What I am is a person who is humbled before the stark truth of my failures. What I am is a lover of people. What I am is a servant. What I am is a lover of God.



...damn, now I really want to draw that picture. It'd be totally awesome :D !

Run Like Hell

I'm sorry for all you folks trying to keep up with my blog- it has seen a flurry of activity to day, I know- but I composed this literally in the time between when I posted my 2 Samuel Bible Study installment and now. The song is called...you guessed it-

Run Like Hell

Chord Progression/Musical Notes: I still haven't determined what to play during the verses, because of the broken up way they flow (that's on purpose, by the way). The fingering for the chorus chords is the same (play like an E minor), they’re just barred at different frets (i.e. Bar2 means bar fret 2 and finger it like an E minor [golly, that doesn't sound wholesome at all...], two frets from the bar finger)*…Slip and slide, boy, all over that guitar's neck! And yeah, it's definitely a song that I will be singing like my picture I posted below!

I see something I like
Oh yeah
Like a fish I’m gonna bite
Cause it’s an allure of the
Worst kind
A figure I can’t tear
From my mind
Even if I wanted to

And as I’m writhing on the line
I hear somebody say

Bar2*…………….
You better run like
Bar2……………...Eminor!
You better run like hell
Emin…...Bar6…………..........Bar7
Look out for what your mind’s in
You better run like
You better run like hell
If the alarm bells are ringin’
You better run like
You better run like hell
It’s hot on your heels yeah

Thoughts come unbidden
To my head
And in a second changed me
From a man into swine
I shake my head
But I’m hooked in by the eyes
And what I want isn’t
Giving up without a fight

Somewhere in the back of
My head, I'm thinkin’

I better run like
I better run like hell
I can’t believe what I’m day dreamin’
I better run like
I better run like hell
That old familiar guilt’s a creepin’
I better run like
I better run like hell
It’s hot on my heels yeah

There’s not a
Second to lose
But uh,
It’s no use
I kinda like where I am
I got some attention,
Thank you ma’m
I never had that before

And as I’m giving in something
Tells me the only way out is

I gotta run like
I gotta run like hell
Can’t you hear sin come a-screamin’
I gotta run like
I gotta run like hell
The shivers down my spine are seethin’
I gotta run like
I gotta run like hell
It’s hot on my heels yeah

I never thought
I’d get carried
So far away
I’m having a little more than
A brush with disaster
I’m caught by my flesh
I’m about to get pulled up
Hook, line and sinker

I'm getting a funny look
'Cause now I’m

Now I’m runnin’ like
Now I’m runnin’ like hell
I was blinded and now I see
Now I’m runnin’ like
Now I’m runnin’ like hell
It almost overwhelmed me
Now I’m runnin’ like
Now I’m runnin’ like hell
I tore myself FREEEE YEAH!

*crazy awesome guitar finish that I can't play but can hear in my head follows*

2 Samuel Chapter 11- Confession and Departing From Sin

In Second Samuel Chapter 11, David, while his armies go out and conquer, stays at home. By coincidence he espied a beautiful woman bathing below his palace. He inquired as to who she was, and was told she was Bathsheba, wife of Uriah the Hittite, who was fighting for David. And David invited her to his palace and slept with her. Then she purified herself and went home. Later, she sent a simple message telling David that she was pregnant. So David tried to cover this up, first by bringing Uriah home and trying to get him to go home and lay with his wife to cover up the pregnancy. This failed, because Uriah was so loyal to David and his brothers in arms that he would not go home to his wife, even though he was back in Jerusalem. And so David sent Uriah back to Joab with the order to have the men retreat before the walls of the city they were besieging and leave Uriah to die. And so this happened, and when Bathsheba heard that her husband was dead, she morned and David took her as his wife. And she continued to bear David's child.


This is indeed a dark time in David's life as king. He has done several things here; He has not only committed adultery (which is typical of David, who had several wives and many concubines besides), but has done so with another man's wife, he has ignored God throughout this situation, which probably lasted over the course of probably a few weeks or so, and he committed premeditated murder. The last one did not hit me until I read it again this time; we are so used to David slaying people that it seems par for the course. But premeditated murder is very very serious. I know there have been times in my life when I wished some people were dead. But I have never thought so for days at a time. What David did was a very dark thing for this normally humble and God fearing, God praising man. And it shows how far we can go in our sin; we slip up once, and down the rabbit hole we go, trying continually to cover things up and hide it, from God and from people.

But even confessing to God is easy compared to confessing to people. You don't have to look God in the eye when you tell God you were wrong. What is it about confessing what we have done to people that makes it so difficult? The answer is Grace. God has abundant Grace and abundant Love for us, that will never run out.

And here is yet another reason why we avoid God; not because we don't have a problem with Him giving us Grace, but of what he will ask us to do. For our God is not one if inaction, and not one that wishes for us to be separated from one another by sin and strife, but connected by truth and love. So when we pray to God for forgiveness, we will be convicted to act and do the hardest thing, and that is humble ourselves before our victims in confession.

But, I know just from observing myself, that I have limited grace and limited love to give, even more so for people who have hurt me. And it is dealing with that lack of grace that people have which is the most terrifying thing. That when we humble ourselves to them, that they will not accept our apology, but spit in our face instead.

It is a difficult thing to endure, people's lack of grace. But we must, because the burdens of our sins, whether against others, ourselves, or God, will weigh us down. Guilt is a powerful feeling. It seeps into us, and can become a part of our everyday existence and we don't even know it anymore. It convicts us, and sometimes so much that we become sick of it and block it out, that we would rather ignore our burden of guilt than go through what is necessary to remove that burden.

The truth is that regardless of how tough it is to repent to God and confess to those you have affected, not only must it be done, but if you ask it of Him, the Lord will give you the strength to endure whatever hardships may come from another person's lack of grace. One thing I do know from experience- when you confess to another person, out of love, what you have done, they will not forget it. Especially if they did not even know you had wronged them in the first place. There can be no greater testimony than to humble yourself in love to another.


And, finally, there is one more thing to learn from this passage. One of David's consistent problems in scripture was women. David by then should have know that what he had done before was not in accordance with God's law, and he should have known that he had a problem with his adulterous tendencies. And as soon as he saw Bathsheba, he should have run like hell. In fact, sexual sin is the one kind that the Bible literally tells you to run from (it says so in Proverbs, I believe), mostly because if there is one sin that can be avoided by running away from the source, adultery is it! So remember, when you are facing a stronghold...when it rears its ugly head, remember that whether you are being tested by God or tempted by Satan, you always have a way out...

Run Like Hell!

Hope From A Friend

A college friend of mine who shares similar semi-awkward, geeky/nerdy traits and is generally a shy and un-socialble but deep and spiritually rich person has recently acquired a significant other (as in, in the past week or so)...I actually really feel happy for him, I'm not jealous at all. NO, seriously though, I don't :D .

If you are reading this blog, you know who you are...go, man! And go knowing that you bring hope to all shy, awkward and socially inept men!

Leadership.

Yesterday, I was essentially handed a big leadership responsibility...I have gone from being a musical peon who sometimes plays guitar during Monday prayer night to the guy who will be running the whole Saturday Night Alive show...I could use some prayer, that my abilities will be up to par by the time I get there, so that I can play in front of the congregation, that I will be mindful of myself and not be prideful, and that I will be challenging to others in love and be able to cope with the politics and attitudes of our group. I need to be tough, I can tell you...our two guitarists are kind of clashing right now...one is apparently being very prideful and refusing to play with the other, because the other is refusing to "get up to speed" and learn some new things...in short, I am walking into a warzone. But, as David said, the battle is the Lord's. I will stand ready for anything, knowing that he is with me.

Lurkers

I know Rachel and Joanne (two people I barely or don't know outside of the interenet) in a somewhat ironic twist, post fearlessly here. I am curious as to who the "lurkers" are, that is people who read but don't post.

Scorched

Here is the song I was talking about- it's pasted from Word, but wasn't typed double space, so I don't know what the deal is. Stupid HTML text. Anyway, here it is-

Scorched

You said “I know just where you’ve been,”

“Backslidden, caught in sin”

But I don’t care, ‘cause it ain’t fair

The way my heart’s been worse for wear

So here I am, just a man

Without a purpose without a plan

Tired of seeking for the truth

The flower of faith has lost its youth

How can you tell me I’ve slid so far

When you can’t see yourself for who you are

The accusations of pride you throw at my feet

Are the same demons that have got you beat

You can feed a wasted homeless man

But you look down on me whenever you can

You love the lost and you love the lame

But you can’t love your brother in the name

I opened my heart up and let you in

Let you go where no one has been

You said “I love the sinner, but hate the sin”

Well I must be blind, or have missed somethin’

‘Cause I said “I’m sorry, forgive me please”

I was humbled before God’s law on my knees

How could you say “turn the other cheek” to my face

When you couldn’t do it with live and grace

Writing Music

Sometimes, I feel the urge to write music and lyrics to them. Recently, I have started writing a song about a person who was a Christian, but was "backslidden" (what conventient and vicious labels we slap onto people, and with such eagerness do we do it!), and repulsed by the hypocrisy of people who, as the famous quote goes "Declared Jesus' salvation by their lips, but went out and denied him by their lifestyle." It is a song that talks about what has been done to them, from their perspective.

I am advanced enough in my walk with Christ that I know how to forgive and remember that no matter what CHRISTIANS do, CHRIST is what matters above all, my relationship with Him and represenation of Him on Earth is what matters. Sometimes, I expereince behavior from my Christian brothers and sisters which, if i were not as strong in the faith as I am, would drive me away. The song I wrote is not happy, and it's not nice, but I feel that it's a necessary song to write. We have to be so careful how we treat people. Those who would have ordinarily been great workers in the Lord's Kingdom and fellow partakers of the promised paradise have been driven off by harsh words, uncaring actions and unloving attitudes of disrespect and iniquity.

Sometimes, it's not a matter of who is RIGHT and who is WRONG. It is a matter of WHO LOVES as Christ loved. Love is not merely something that drives you to tell others the Truth. Love is what makes you want to tell the Truth, and tell it in a way which meets that person where they are, and in the way they must be told which will not be destructive. I can't tell everyone the Truth the same way. True Love will drive out wrongs by its very nature. Loving God by obeying how he has asked us to behave, and loving our fellow humans by treating them as God would is the way. Is the Christ's way.

"If I speak the Gospel, but not in love, I am a clanging gong, a resounding cymbal" -Paul

This is a song about the clanging gongs of our faith, and the consequences of what they do....I'll post it when I'm finished writing it.